I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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