my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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