New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize