can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
