brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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