okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
