Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We were destined to go to rehab together
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Randomize