..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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