just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
3 2 1 whiskey
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
