So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
