Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
