You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
