How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
