Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize