so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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