I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
