had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
