you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
