Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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