I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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