I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize