I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
