Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My penis needs a shock collar
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
