Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
