dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
