Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
