When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Bring me that man meat
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize