i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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