If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
