You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He felt like a one man threesome
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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