i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
