Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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