so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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