i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
