i think my tv is drunk
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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