I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
