Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
