I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize