i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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