We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
