I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
