i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
