just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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