I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
