I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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