Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
