marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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