The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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