Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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