i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
