what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
