i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
