I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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