so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
