I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
