It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up under a house in Key West
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