Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
