at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
