Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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