Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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