is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
