she looked like the bat from fern gully.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
