I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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