why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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