People in love make me want to vomit
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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