Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
