its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
