Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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