now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
