just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
