At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
