East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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