Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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