Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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